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Originally posted by 83SY View PostAre you the same Jim with the Focus RS mk1?
:notworthy:
thought you didn't like them:whistle:

and my other blue car

a shadow of your former self.....:119:Originally posted by lawsy View Post16st 11 now Jim.
I was 18st, too much.
Here I am Sy
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Originally posted by lawsy View PostBit like throwing a deckchair off the titanic and expecting it not to sink.:hahaha:
But its a start. Thats in 1 month too easy when the mrs doesn't feed me :hahaha:
Have you got a night off tonight?
yup, busy not-watching the olympics - He's put on an 'interesting' show Mr Boyle
:hahaha: I will persuade you otherwise:whistle:Originally posted by 83SY View PostOh I don't...! With a passion :smokin:
CS is cracking tho
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I was gonna say, You usually have a cock in your mouth by this time on a Friday.:gayfight:Originally posted by northernjim View Postyup, busy not-watching the olympics - He's put on an 'interesting' show Mr Boyle
:hahaha: I will persuade you otherwise:whistle:
He munched on my swollen budgie's tongue, even though I'd been on the rag for the best part of a week. Inserting a egg timer into my one slice toaster got me slurging sex wee faster than greased shit off a shiny shovel. After having my ground zero grotto pounded, he then proceeded to hammer my rusty bullet hole. The mixture of Mr. Hanky and creamy load in my oxo orifice created the delicious rectoplasm that he was so fond of. By now, my shame portal was flowing like a leaky tap.
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:smt005:smt060
He walked into the nightclub with one plan in mind - go ugly early.
After a few furtive sweeps of the dance floor, he made for the bar and it was there he spied his prey. He gave her the eyes, she gave him one back, the other taking its time to catch up.
She was a thick set lass, dodgy perm, boss eyes and a built up shoe. Ideal he thought. As she swung her legs off the bar stool, he got a glimpse of her ample thighs. They were smeared in fake tan and had so much cellulite, he was reminded of the bunker on the 14th that had troubled him earlier that day. As she headed over, he extended a hand to greet hers. She gently touched his and pulled him inwards, kissing him with some enthusiasm. She was well versed in this game and was clearly up for what he had planned. Maybe.
As she pulled away, brushing his cheek she said "hi, I'm Tracey". Her Yardley perfume stung his nose, and what he guessed to be a beef and tomato Pot Noodle lingered on his tongue. He ushered her to the bar, his usual Snowball and Tennants chaser lined up, he ordered a pint of Creme de Menth for the lady. She punished it in one and grinned at him, her teeth looked like a plate of burnt chips, but that didn't matter, not tonight.
Nodding to the DJ, the current record was faded out and TPAU's classic 'China in your hands' began. He was going to need Carol with him tonight to get him through what was inevitably going to occur. The effects of the drink were now coming on strong for both of them, she was looking marginally attractive, and dancing had turned to groping.
He looked at his Casio calculator watch, it was 11:45. He made the call in his head, time to see if she was indeed game. "It's getting a little late, fancy heading back to mine, I've got season 3 of Miami Vice on VHS" she wagged her finger in his face, damn, did he strike too soon? "Hubby's on a quick changeover at the pit, I just want cock". Bingo.
They smashed through the door of his maisonette, he'd already removed her bra in the taxi, that was now nestled in the back of a Nissan Bluebird, now it was time for the rest. She sank to her knees, and with one snap of her fingers, his snake belt was undone and his flat front Farahs were around his Chelsea boots. She gorged herself on him, all 5 inches and the back wheels were in too. He let out a wry smile as he saw the Hungry Hippos board game on the sideboard, wondering if she realised the similarity in technique.
He'd had enough of this now though, he wanted the pie. Slipping her out of what little there was of the dress, her boobs resembling two Wombles peering over a balcony, she stood before him in her pants. Pushing her onto the bed, she slipped them off revealing her gaping clunge. It was as wet as a bucket of slugs and resembled a quickly dug grave. He smashed straight in. He took her in every available orifice, and some that we're not.
As she lay on the bed, looking like the victim of a Noel Edmonds gunge tanking, he sparked up a Camel and slipped Miami Vice into the Fergurson toploader.
Nice he thought. Nice.
:thumbs::drool:
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You remember that night too well Jim:-D:119:Originally posted by northernjim View Post:smt005:smt060
He walked into the nightclub with one plan in mind - go ugly early.
After a few furtive sweeps of the dance floor, he made for the bar and it was there he spied his prey. He gave her the eyes, she gave him one back, the other taking its time to catch up.
She was a thick set lass, dodgy perm, boss eyes and a built up shoe. Ideal he thought. As she swung her legs off the bar stool, he got a glimpse of her ample thighs. They were smeared in fake tan and had so much cellulite, he was reminded of the bunker on the 14th that had troubled him earlier that day. As she headed over, he extended a hand to greet hers. She gently touched his and pulled him inwards, kissing him with some enthusiasm. She was well versed in this game and was clearly up for what he had planned. Maybe.
As she pulled away, brushing his cheek she said "hi, I'm Tracey". Her Yardley perfume stung his nose, and what he guessed to be a beef and tomato Pot Noodle lingered on his tongue. He ushered her to the bar, his usual Snowball and Tennants chaser lined up, he ordered a pint of Creme de Menth for the lady. She punished it in one and grinned at him, her teeth looked like a plate of burnt chips, but that didn't matter, not tonight.
Nodding to the DJ, the current record was faded out and TPAU's classic 'China in your hands' began. He was going to need Carol with him tonight to get him through what was inevitably going to occur. The effects of the drink were now coming on strong for both of them, she was looking marginally attractive, and dancing had turned to groping.
He looked at his Casio calculator watch, it was 11:45. He made the call in his head, time to see if she was indeed game. "It's getting a little late, fancy heading back to mine, I've got season 3 of Miami Vice on VHS" she wagged her finger in his face, damn, did he strike too soon? "Hubby's on a quick changeover at the pit, I just want cock". Bingo.
They smashed through the door of his maisonette, he'd already removed her bra in the taxi, that was now nestled in the back of a Nissan Bluebird, now it was time for the rest. She sank to her knees, and with one snap of her fingers, his snake belt was undone and his flat front Farahs were around his Chelsea boots. She gorged herself on him, all 5 inches and the back wheels were in too. He let out a wry smile as he saw the Hungry Hippos board game on the sideboard, wondering if she realised the similarity in technique.
He'd had enough of this now though, he wanted the pie. Slipping her out of what little there was of the dress, her boobs resembling two Wombles peering over a balcony, she stood before him in her pants. Pushing her onto the bed, she slipped them off revealing her gaping clunge. It was as wet as a bucket of slugs and resembled a quickly dug grave. He smashed straight in. He took her in every available orifice, and some that we're not.
As she lay on the bed, looking like the victim of a Noel Edmonds gunge tanking, he sparked up a Camel and slipped Miami Vice into the Fergurson toploader.
Nice he thought. Nice.
:thumbs::drool:
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