How to accept that my car won't ever be "perfect"?

[Obioban]

i basically suffer from this to a huge fault. I used to regularly track my m3, carefully and did lots of canyon runs and long drives, and road trips. The last 3 consecutive track days I did, it broke. The first time the rear left wheel bearing blew, on the drive home, the timing chain tensioner backed out, luckily only a mile or two from my house. The next track day I blew the FCABS, then again, I blew the FCABs and I just gave up and put it in the garage. This was all pre pandemic

As the years went by, I got more and more worried about damaging it and eventually just stopped driving it altogether.

I tried driving my m3 more in 2022, after i splurged on the ZCP wheels and michelin p4s's. The second drive with the new wheels, I accidentally curbed the wheel, which caused me to freak out for a few hours. On that same drive, a rock came out of nowhere and dented my front fender badly. I freaked out some more. Lots of mental anguish.

I was already paranoid about my car getting damaged when I was out, and this just made it worse. Now it just sits and sits.

I have other practical factors to consider too, like having kids which makes it hard to enjoy the m3. But I do miss enjoying the car and not worrying. I'm coming up on 10 years of ownership. I bought it with 38k miles and it sits at 53k miles. Somewhere around 48k miles is when I stopped tracking it and enjoying it. So the last 4-5 years. Ive driven it maybe 3000 miles. I still LOVE it when I drive it, but so much has changed since I first got the thing. I bought it when I was 33, I'm now 43 with two kids and a busy life. I sometimes just like seeing it shining in my garage and that's good enough for me. I think its a disorder.

I honestly don't see the point in owning it like that.

My kid rides in the back seat. My dog rides in the back seat. I put track tires in the back seat.

I maintain it (and choose aftermarket parts carefully) such that it has broken down on me one time in almost 170,000 miles, including 20,000+ track miles.

Why keep it prefect for the next guy (or for a future in which we're not allowed to drive ICEVs)? Drive it, maintain it, repeat.

[SQ13]

The “problem” is that it’s easy to ruin cars through poor/inappropriate modifications, which MANY people do. But, it’s certainly not a requirement, especially with the amount of information on this forum.

Lol that was me over the past 10.5 years of ownership, with my four header installs and TrAcK cAr era.

These days, I don’t expect the car to be cosmetically perfect, but I do try to keep up with it mechanically. I am chasing perfection with mods now, though, and doing things right the first time. This summer, I should be able to install the Karb roof, OE CSL trunk, and Vincebar (plus a whole rear end refresh) which have all just been sitting in my room for several months now. After that, just do a red interior conversion, and the car should be “done.”

[Ramo]

I honestly don't see the point in owning it like that.

My kid rides in the back seat. My dog rides in the back seat. I put track tires in the back seat.

I maintain it (and choose aftermarket parts carefully) such that it has broken down on me one time in almost 170,000 miles, including 20,000+ track miles.

Why keep it prefect for the next guy (or for a future in which we're not allowed to drive ICEVs)? Drive it, maintain it, repeat.

Mind me asking what Mat is that under the car seat? To protect the leather right? Because I don’t want my kids car seat to indent the leather like it has in my SUV when you tighten down the car seat.

[bimmerfan08]

I honestly don't see the point in owning it like that.

My kid rides in the back seat. My dog rides in the back seat. I put track tires in the back seat.

I maintain it (and choose aftermarket parts carefully) such that it has broken down on me one time in almost 170,000 miles, including 20,000+ track miles.

Why keep it prefect for the next guy (or for a future in which we're not allowed to drive ICEVs)? Drive it, maintain it, repeat.

Looks like your wife rides in the back seat, too.

[Obioban]

Looks like your wife rides in the back seat, too.

When the kid demands it :P

[Obioban]

Mind me asking what Mat is that under the car seat? To protect the leather right? Because I don’t want my kids car seat to indent the leather like it has in my SUV when you tighten down the car seat.

Ha, you're undermining my argument!

But, yes, that is what that's for. I have one for every car :P

https://www.target.com/p/munchkin-brica-elite-seat-guardian-car-seat-protector-crash-test-approved-dark-gray/-/A-14373053?ref=tgt_adv_xsf&AFID=google&CPNG=Baby&adgroup=30-4

... and don't allow any food other than water to be consumed in the car...

[Pnick]

Ha, you're undermining my argument!

But, yes, that is what that's for. I have one for every car :P

https://www.target.com/p/munchkin-brica-elite-seat-guardian-car-seat-protector-crash-test-approved-dark-gray/-/A-14373053?ref=tgt_adv_xsf&AFID=google&CPNG=Baby&adgroup=30-4

... and don't allow any food other than water to be consumed in the car...

I do the same thing only difference is I use a folded quilt that drapes from the headrest all the way down. I have 2 grandkids and both almost always asked to ride in the blue car (IB/Cinnamon at the time) instead of the SUV. Same here...no food but water only.
But later on I used one of these...

https://www.amazon.com/JSTHT-Waterproof-Hammock-Scratch-Standard/dp/B0C7C3X8MG/ref=sr_1_37?crid=FNDMT74CDTO4&keywords=backseat+cover+for+dogs+in+car&qid=1704753537&sprefix=backsea%2Caps%2C146&sr=8-37

[maw1124]

I have 2 grandkids and both almost always asked to ride in the blue car (IB/Cinnamon at the time) instead of the SUV…

BMW can learn a lot from the kids, who always call Carbon Black ///M cars (E46M and E39M) “the blue car”. My buddy’s kids used to always prefer “the blue car” too… mainly because it must have felt like a roller coaster to them.

😂

These cars are an occasion…

maw

[sev]

I honestly don't see the point in owning it like that.

My kid rides in the back seat. My dog rides in the back seat. I put track tires in the back seat.

I maintain it (and choose aftermarket parts carefully) such that it has broken down on me one time in almost 170,000 miles, including 20,000+ track miles.

Why keep it prefect for the next guy (or for a future in which we're not allowed to drive ICEVs)? Drive it, maintain it, repeat.

I also have a e46 330 ver that the kids prefer to ride in. So 9 out of 10 times we hop in that... I dont mind having them in the m3. It jsut doesnt happen.

I have no plans of selling the m3. i just need to leanr to integrate it back into my daily life. Like.I say, its kind of a disease a this point

[sev]

Ha, you're undermining my argument!

But, yes, that is what that's for. I have one for every car :P

https://www.target.com/p/munchkin-brica-elite-seat-guardian-car-seat-protector-crash-test-approved-dark-gray/-/A-14373053?ref=tgt_adv_xsf&AFID=google&CPNG=Baby&adgroup=30-4

... and don't allow any food other than water to be consumed in the car...

those mats are great, not cheap but they work great. I got one in every car too..

[ragnar]

Made my (ex-)m3 perfect (mechanically, cosmetically) and then got scared to drive it because it was too perfect. So I sold it. The irony is not lost on me. The moral? Don't seek perfection LOL.

[cobra]

Made my (ex-)m3 perfect (mechanically, cosmetically) and then got scared to drive it because it was too perfect. So I sold it. The irony is not lost on me. The moral? Don't seek perfection LOL.

I have this beater motorcycle that I ride a lot. It has about 100k miles on it now and I've done tons of trips and daily commuting on it. It's been parked outside uncovered, crashed, knocked over, and abused. I encourage friends to ride it and I park it in "sketchy" areas without giving it a second thought. I keep up with the maintenance but don't put effort into cosmetic appearance. It has brought me endless joy over the past 10 years of ownership.

I have a sentimental attachment to it because we've done so much together, but at the same time if it was totaled or stolen I wouldn't be devastated. It's just a material object that can be replaced.

The M3, and another "nice" motorcycle I have get way less use because, like you, I am more worried about something happening to them. It doesn't make very much sense - the whole point is to enjoy the thing right? Time inevitably breaks things down (random accidents, crime, kids, environmental aging from the sun and corrosion, rubber parts deteriorating, etc), and will never make them better. The only way to keep them nice is to not use them, and unless it's a collector/investment it doesn't really make sense to keep it at that point unless the joy you get from the minimal usage is worth it to you. Totally a personal and financial choice.

What's the solution? I'm still trying to figure it out but I think there's a balance.
-Decay is natural and normal, trying to keep things perfect is a losing battle.
-Don't develop an emotional attachment in the first place.
-Mitigate obvious risks but accept there is always some level of risk even just pulling out of your driveway.
-In 10 years are you going to look back and be happy you were paranoid, didn't drive your car, and spent all your money trying to keep it mint, or will you look back at all the great experiences you had using it?

[bimmerfan08]

If there's one thing this thread has me realize, it's that there are an active number of owners actively maintaining (or attempting to maintain) their M3s in great condition. Great reassurance for future acquisitions, if needed. 😁