I THINK WE HAVE OUR CULPRIT! The noise definitely appears to be rod bearing / bolt related. So, good news on finding the cause, bad news that it isn't a cheap fix for others that might be experiencing it.
The BE bearings were trashed. Note that these had ~300 miles on them, they were installed in January of this year (2024). The stock rod bearings from 2005 looked way better than these. Very, very lucky that the crank was undamaged.
They were all installed and torqued properly, however this was part of the "bad batch" - and it shows.
New WPS bearings going in, and sending the BE's back for investigation.
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